Be where I am.

There are so many things about these next few months that are hard for me to believe are actually reality. To start, I'm a Junior in college. It feels like just yesterday I was receiving a diploma in front of family and friends. I feel like I just started the count down of how many days I had till I moved into my Freshman dorm. It is incredible how fast things can change. Now I'm not only half way done with college, but I am counting down the days till I leave for Ireland. 11 days. 11 days till I spend a semester in Ireland. 11 days till I leave my comfort zone.

As my time here in Arkansas grows shorter, I can't help but to think about the changes that come with this semester. It is easy for me to immediately come to the conclusion that nothing will be the same as I left it when I arrive back to JBU after Christmas break. I love my campus and the people that fill it. I like things the way they are and don't want to come back to a school that feels completely different. I don't want to focus on what I am missing on campus while I'm gone. I think about the great conversations and memories that I could have had with my family and friends if I stayed in Arkansas this semester. At the same time, though, I can't and won't expect people to sit still and wait for me to return before they return to their daily lives. Times like this are when I wish I had a life remote so I could hit pause after I said my goodbyes and hit play when I return. I know that remotes like this don't exist and probably never will which is, honestly, a good thing. The word that comes to mind when I think about having a life remote is "control." Control is something that, as humans, we like to think we have but in reality God is the only One who is in control. He is the One who's plan actually matters unlike ours. Our plans only matter when they aline with His plan. He has a plan for what is going to come of my semester in Ireland as well as when I return to campus in the spring. When I make plans for my life and predict what could happen in the future I am not trusting in God to do what is best for my life and therefore sinning.

Since I'm not able to hit pause before I leave, I am left with a choice: to be where I am and enjoy every minute of it or to be focused on where I am not and can not be. I've come to the conclusion that it is completely okay for me to miss being on campus, but not to the point where I can't enjoy where I am. It becomes difficult to live in the way we should if we are focused on somewhere we aren't.

The thought of getting on a airplane in 11 days to go to a place that is completely foreign to me is in many ways exciting, but also scary at the same time. I know that God has something incredible planned for the time I spend in Ireland. I still am feeling lots of mixed emotions, but I am confident that Ireland is where he wants me to be this semester which couldn't be more comforting to know.

Let the packing begin!